introduction/about me

hello, i'm bram.

i use she/him pronouns and i am a college student from the midwest. i created this blog because my deepest darkest desire is to be understood without judgement and to find someone to understand in turn. i can write in my diary all i wish, but no one can see that but me. on the internet, posting entries allows me the illusion of someone reading and knowing how it feels. i also created this as a way to chronicle my experience with soulbonding/merging/whatever with someone i will call T.

i am anti-harassment, anti-censorship. i believe there can be nuance to almost every situation.

i kin for fun, but do strongly relate to the following characters or often wish i was like them in some way...abigail hobbs, yvaine, pam beesly, frankenstein's monster, fluttershy

some things i have recently watched/am watching are....succession, severance, LOTR + the hobbit, stardust, the righteous gemstones, twin peaks, the terror

some things i have recently read/am reading are...jane eyre, outlander, luck in the shadows the silmarillion, frankenstein

i like all forms of art and music. i like to draw and to sing (when i can, in my dorm room). i played the violin in high school. i also like to roleplay online in my spare time, though i haven't done so in a while. currently, i play a music tutor in a fictional city in the regency era.

halfway through the weekend

as the title says. its saturday night and im procrastinating on showering, getting into bed, and reading more luck in the shadows. journal freshly created, i'm browsing through different communities and figuring out how to use this site and feeling way out of my depth. i've tried this before on neocities, but it just felt way too big and intimidating, and so complex. i like the (assumed) simplicity of this site.

i start therapy (again) on tuesday. my university only allows us a certain number of free sessions in our time enrolled, so i've been trying to use them sparingly, as i think once i run out, i cant even pay to continue meeting with someone. i'm a bit nervous,,, my previous therapist was nice enough but i felt like i never grew with her. she basically just confirmed an unofficial autism diagnosis and then i was satisfied. but i've been in a weird place, and when i drew my tarot last night, in both pulls T told me that he would better connect with me after i went, and started to better myself again. 

i think i dreamed about him last night, but i can only remember fragments of the dream, and i feel like i disappointed him by not remembering. i'm just hoping to try again tonight. fingers and toes crossed.